Welcome to my first post

Welcome to my first post! Dive into my personal world of experience and learning. Assuming that you've read my About page, I suppose I need no further introduction. I'm a writer and this is my blog, very honored to have you here! "iridescence: having or exhibiting a display of colors producing rainbow effects. " I've been wanting to start off with this for such a long time, continuously postponing and wanting to have pinned down what exactly it was that I wanted to focus on, or needing to do it perfectly. Needing to have a good structure and [insert endless more excuses here]... So today I've finally been able to let go of the perfectionist side of me (geez have I been reading The Gifts Of Imperfection* perhaps?), since if I don't, I figured it's going to take me forever in doing it. And that would be huge shame, since I have so much to talk about and express. So much to put out into the world. *A book about learning to let go of perfectionism For about little over two years now, I've been going back and forth with existing people in chatrooms, explorative thinking and reflecting on patterns, life lessons and spirituality. But there always needed to be someone at the other end, someone else who would be replying and making me think while rereading my own words and phrases. I always needed that interaction. And here's where I was making a mistake: even though there is a lot to learn from others, don't get me wrong, yet the inner journey is about ourselves. It shouldn't require anyone else, nothing external, it can be sparked by an external factor, yes, like a typical catalyst response. A walk in the park alone can do this. “catalyst: a person or event that quickly causes change or action.” And note: No one but you, yes you. Can know exactly what it is that you're going through. Though, I'm not wanting to be too hard on myself, because I know we all have our growth and for that phase of my life I know it was the best I could do. I know I needed the level of support I received. Upon creating the blog website, (about months have passed since) I thought, I'm feeling so pulled towards self-help and therapy, that I should make this my main focus. You can guess what happened next. Many things in my life appear to have been flowing a certain way for a reason, and so I don't fail to see one in postponing and shoving the blog aside and having other priorities; I simply wasn't ready. I would have changed the initial purpose and function of it all over again, revised, revised, revised. (and I still did revise a lot! Although not with the main idea, that I can tell remained unchanged, haha!) But to cut a long story short: I would have put in a lot of work on the blog, only to having to undo all of it. We simply need our time. And if you know me, patience has been a tough teacher. I've made up my mind very well about this, that I'm not wanting to shift my attention to one aspect of the inner/self journey, because life is not about a singular aspect either! And for that matter, I'm a Gemini after all, those twins need their variety. “just cut to the chase Danielle”

Okay okay, fair enough. Just follow me as I unravel the mysteries of self through meditating, writing, teaching and learning. Life is not so much a mystery as we make it seem. And God is closer than we think. We just think too much. When I stopped thinking too much, and stopped searching for God in the sky and instead went inwards, I felt the connection through myself. All else came after. I grew up with Christian faith, in a home of 3 children and both of my parents. They raised me well and proper and I'd always wanted to be a good girl, so I was most of the time. But through growing up I had learned that God was supposed to have an effect on me that I could not observe within myself on the contrary of what others spoke of. I'd been taught that the connection was there, yet I got mostly static, no matter how I prayed. I'd felt left in the dark, guilty, ashamed, depressed, orphaned and through my teenage years I'd felt more strayed from God, or the bible than I wanted to, not because I went down the wrong path. But because I lost interest. And eventually, I had made the decision to put my faith on hold. Simply, because it was necessary, it wasn't there, I hadn't felt any results from my efforts. Sure there were small miracles and lucky times, but nothing immense. And silly enough, through working and exploring on my deeply rooted problems and issues and spirituality, years later, more than half a decade later it was there. I'd felt love coming over me, like someone had covered me up with a warm blanket. And what I felt wasn't only like love for me. But the world had suddenly changed into a colorful and brightly energetic place so magical you wouldn't believe, like a Disney Princess who was asleep in the real world. From a grey and white picture, to a fullcolor image. That was my awakening. And it was blissful.